Category Archives: ranting

“Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.” — Oscar Wilde

“Individuals have international duties which transcend the national obligations of obedience … Therefore [citizens] have the duty to violate domestic laws to prevent crimes against humanity from occurring.” – Nuremburg War Crimes Tribunal (1950)

The G8 and G20 are in full swing in Ontario.  Nearly a billion dollars has been spent on security to protect the world’s most powerful people.  That most of the real political and economic decision making was done months ago by underlings and aides, making the meetings themselves little more than a photo-op and schmooze-fest, doesn’t seem to un-justify the exorbitant expense – the world leaders are here and must be protected and kandoodled.

So, there are police officers – thousands and thousands of police officers.  There are police officers on foot, police officers in police cars, police officers in unmarked cars, police officers hiding in the bushes, police officers hiding in buildings, police officers hiding in public, police officers monitoring cameras, police officers monitoring hi-ways, police officers in riot gear, police officers on horseback, police officers in helicopters and so on.  They have come from across Canada, regular-Joe-citizens who have sworn to protect law and order, though it may cost them their lives.  They have come to do their job, to stare anarchy and an angry mob in the face, and stand firmly, side-by-side, with courage and resolve.  So often, these ‘brave men and women in uniform’ are our heroes – celebrated for valour just as they are mourned nationally when their duty costs them life and limb.

Their enemy – protesters with intent to stir dissent in challenge to the status quo.  Though their causes be as varied as they are, they all share a common idea: that things in our world can, and should, be different, and that this meeting of world leaders is an optimal stage on which to give volume to their concerns.  Whether access to water, aboriginal land rights, poverty eradication, diminished corporate control or just plain, old-fashioned peace and love, they too, have come from near and far to stand for what they believe in, shoulder-to-shoulder, with courage and resolve.

The similarities between the two groups, however, end somewhere near here.  While the protesters are forbidden (perhaps rightfully) to carry weapons of any kind, or even to approach the security fence, the police are armed to the teeth.  They have shields and batons.  They have guns that fire plastic bullets that can kill and guns that fire real bullets that will kill.  They have snipers, horses, tear-gas, and cannons that emit a sound excruciating and destructive to the human ear.  While the protesters have managed the trip by scrounging and saving, so deeply do they believe in the causes they promote, the police are made possible by a $1,000,000,000 donation by Canadian taxpayers in support of the status quo.

And so, the police came, and now stand poised and armed in the streets in protection of the status quo, the established order and their jobs.  What is this status quo, that thousands of people from all over the world are willing to bear tremendous personal expense, and brave all variety of violent weaponry to oppose?  The wealthiest 1% of people control 45% of the global wealth.  Nearly 50% of humanity lives on or below the poverty line.  Western industrialists have waged one war after another in and against poor nations on the other side of the world, killing millions of innocent people and utterly destroying entire countries.  Valuable natural resources are extracted by Western corporations who share virtually none of the profits with those who live on top of them.  Democratically elected governments that attempt to nationalize their resources are violently overthrown.  Media and government systematically lie to their populations to protect their income streams.  Land is stolen at will, at gunpoint, from indigenous people.  Corrupt dictators are sold arms to oppress their own populations.  De-regulated free markets are imposed on foreign economies, creating ideal conditions for huge corporations to dominate foreign markets, who export most of the wealth, leaving local business to fight over the scraps.  And so on.

The status quo is a long and violent tale of the global elite, predominantly white men, doing whatever they want to protect their money and their power.  Billions and billions of human beings suffer every day, as they have for hundreds of years, to make possible the gluttony of this greedy handful.  Thousands of people who believe that this is wrong, and that a better, more equitable and just world is possible, have gathered in Toronto, to scream to the apathetic masses that we need to care, and to stand and fight for what is right and what is human.

A small handful of protesters may believe that violence is necessary to have their voices heard, and they will place their bodies and lives on the line in the name of people they will never meet, unarmed, against thousands of heavily armed officers.  Though they fight against a global war industry worth billions and billions of dollars, that profits off the daily deaths of thousands of poor people, often children, these protesters will be condemned for their use of violence.  Is the destruction of a bank window or a car really “violence,” when compared to the oppression and destruction of millions and billions of human lives?  They will be labelled as ‘criminals’ because they destroy the private property belonging to groups of people who reap enormous profits through oppression and death.  They will be labelled generally as ‘anarchists’ and their message of peace and love and hope will be lost in a 3-minute segment, between the weather and world cup highlights, on the 10 o’clock news.  No mention will be made of the causes they champion, because their dream for a just world contradicts the financial interests of the wealthy owners of our mass media.  They will be shot, gassed, beaten, arrested and oppressed by regular Canadian citizens – our police officers – who in the name of doing their jobs, have become the weapons of oppression for the most corrupt, powerful and evil people in the world.  So much for democracy.  So much for free speech.  So it goes.

“We are called to speak for the weak, for the voiceless, for the victims of our nation, for those it calls ‘enemy,’ for no document from human hands can make these humans any less our brother.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

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“It’s become so obvious, you are so oblivious to yourself” — Wilco

Canadians enjoy making fun of Americans for being ignorant of the world outside their borders. I enjoy asking these Canadians what the capital of New Brunswick is, to which they invariably respond “well, at least we’re not AS ignorant as Americans.”

It’s true, I guess.  In a contest to see who can be the worst global citizen, second last is not as bad as dead last.  One thing I enjoy about pots and kettles, is that given enough time, both will sink to the bottom of the river.

Every moment’s a little bit later.

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“What’s so funny ’bout peace, love and understanding?” — Elvis Costello

I’ve been informed that my last post was offensive.  I’m not sorry.

Why is it that everything is fair game for criticism EXCEPT for religion?

Why are questions of faith, God, etc. necessarily outside the bounds of debate?

I have been told that the answer lies in the common reaction to such a conversation – that is, heated argument, passion, emotion, etc.  To me, this seems all the more reason to have the debate, provided that people can behave like adults who respect each others’ points of view.  I am happy to talk for hours and hours about religion.  Truly, I know very little, and am always grateful to learn from the experience and insight of others.  I am certain also, that at the end of such a conversation, I would still respect the other person, and acknowledge their right to their own beliefs.  If anything, it will strengthen our friendship.

So why do we run away from debate about God?  Perhaps because there is no possible conclusion to the conversation.  At the end of the day, it boils down to what I think/feel vs. what you think/feel.  Thus, essentially, there can be no ‘victory,’ except perhaps a deeper understanding and appreciation for one another.  But isn’t this the greatest victory of all?

The truth is, I don’t know the truth, and neither do you.

Anybody who tells you they do know the truth is lying to you.  They might know THEIR truth (though I doubt it), but what that has to do with me, I don’t know.  No matter what you believe, at least 50% of the human population disagrees with you.  Probably closer to 99.999%, when you really dig into it.

What gives anyone the right to tell everybody else that they are wrong?  What gives anyone the monopoly on truth?

And anybody who threatens another person with eternal damnation if they fail to agree with one specific, subjective opinion of God is … well … kind of evil.  Don’t you think?

My religion is encapsulated entirely within two words: peace and love.  According to most people, I am going to burn in hell for all eternity.  Sucks to be me, I guess.

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“The theory of evolution by cumulative natural selection is the only theory we know of that is in principle capable of explaining the existence of organized complexity” — Dawkins

Life on Mars

Apparently they have found something like pond scum on Mars.  Evolutionary theorists have long suggested that all life on earth began as pond scum.  Christians without any sound understanding of evolution or science have frequently mocked this increasingly sound idea.  Guess they were wrong again,eh?  Just like about the world being flat, and 6000 years old and the center of the universe and all that other stuff.

Can we finally all agree that the Bible is bullshit now, and stop killing each other over it?

Pretty please?

“Do what you think’s right, and you will feel alright, cause when you are bad you will feel sad.  That’s the religion I live by.”

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“I saw cotton and I saw black. Tall white mansions and little shacks. Southern man when will you pay them back? I heard screaming and bull-whips cracking. How long? How long?” — Neil Young

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Good and Bad.

As we all know, there are only two kinds of people in this world: good guys and bad guys.  Anybody who tries to tell you differently is probably a communist, and should have acid thrown in his granola munching face for being a God-less baby killer.

It’s true though, only two types of people.  For the sake of convenience, I am going to refer to the good people from this point onwards as “white” and the bad people from this point onwards as “black.”  As we all know, God is light, so anything that is lighter in colour is inherently more God-like than anything darker in colour.  Ergo, good equals “white,” and bad equals “black.”

Now don’t confuse these labels with racial labels.  Though the Godliness of all things lighter in colour is utterly undeniable, and should not escape the notice of any thinking man’s considerations of race, I am speaking of an entirely different sort of white and black.  Any man who calls me racist for choosing such appropriate labels is, in fact, guilty of stone-throwing, and Jesus Christ told us explicitly that all those who throw stones are Muslim Terrorists.  George W. Bush, the great prophet, told us to “smoke-out” those who promote such ignorance and hatred, and I will smoke you out if you call me racist, with the divine wrath of God himself at my back.

Now again, all the people in this world are either white or they’re black.  And it’s important that we are able to spot the black ones, and that we teach our children to spot the black ones, so that they may not be perverted by the black, heathen ways.  Don’t you think for one single moment that your neighbourhood is safe from the black menace!  Don’t you dare!  This very moment, they are gathered in the dark places, conspiring on how to destroy the minds of your children with their Commie-loving, Freedom-hating propaganda.  We must remain vigilant people, or our just nation will be destroyed from the inside out by the black terrorists.

Do you know how to spot a black person?  I have found that black people generally avoid four major things, in the same way that rats and cockroaches avoid light.  They are: God, Goodness, Earning and Rules.  One might say that black people are Not Interested in God, Goodness, Earning or Rules. To help you teach your children this crucial “How to spot black people?” checklist, I have found a simple anagram: NI:GGER, works very well.

Now, you may be wondering, ‘how do I know if somebody is not interested in goodness?’  Well, there’s an easy trick, and that is to look at the colour of their eyes.  Remember: light equals good and dark equals evil.  As such, science has proven that any person with darker eyes than you is probably an evil NI:GGER, and it is your duty to see to it that their children are emotionally crippled, so they can never grow strong and destroy the minds of our pure, honest white children.  One good way to begin the long process of emotional destruction is to begin calling them “NIGGER” or “blacky” in public at every possible opportunity, thus using God’s divine stigma to destroy their sense of belonging and self-worth.   Spray-paint that has been blessed by a white priest, or his young male alter-boy is also an effective way of attaching God’s “NIGGER” label to all the blacks and black-lovers alike.

A hatred of God is a bit trickier to spot, but is found primarily in the behaviour of the black people.  Now there are loads of God-hating behaviours, and I don’t have time to get into all of them, but if you see a man without his hair cut, or holding another man’s hand, or wearing jewellery, or if you see a woman out flirting, drinking or talking above a polite whisper , well, then you’ve probably caught yourself a NI:GGER, and should rustle up an angry mob of peace-loving white folk just as quick as you can throw a bed-sheet over your head, to put the fear of the devil into those blasphemous blacks.

God said clearly that to get to heaven, we should sell all the camels and needles we can find.  This is a divine affirmation of the virtue of capitalism.  Any “person” who suggests that there is even the slightest thing wrong with making as much money as possible is not only a Communist spy, but also wants to drink the blood of your beloved family pets.  Read the words of Carl Marks if you don’t believe me!  Yes my friends, even the slightest distrust of earning is a dead-giveaway of a NI:GGER infestation.  If you hear such poison as “fairness” or “equity” or “justice” being inflicted on innocent white ears, God commands you to let His kind Words ring out from your heart: “Burn in hell you Terrorist, Communist NIGGERS!”   And remember, God loves it when you are loud, so when you shout, shout with the fire of the Holy Spirit in your belly.

Finally, black people hate rules.  From the ten-commandments on down to “don’t walk,” you can bet your favourite ivory cat statue that if there is a rule being broken, it’s a NI:GGER who’s breaking it.  It was God who decided who should be men when He first called us people.  Who is surprised that all those women and black people banded together, changing the rules so that they could be people too?  Typical NI:GGER behaviour, if you ask me.  And it’s just not natural – who ever heard of a black “person” anyway?  No, we have a defined order in this country, and anyone who suggests that anything about that order should be adjusted in any way, shape or form should remember that God made some “people” out of ribs for a reason.  He knew that when we they was done being productive, that they could and should be thrown to the dogs, so that by picking the black meat off their black bones, the dogs could gain the strength they need to carry out their important dog-duties.  That’s the rules, and any NI:GGER trying to stand in the way of our perfect laws should be trapped, slathered in holy bacon grease, and left for a pack of under-fed strays.  This is the great circle of life.  Amen.

Following these simple rules, it should be possible for you to spot the blacks in your midst, and train your children in how to deal with this vermin.  Now don’t bother trying to fix the black people.  You can’t turn a rat into a song-bird, and you can’t turn black into white.  Remember, we are the good guys, and there is no need for us to tolerate any form of intolerance.  It is our duty as Christians to root out hatred, strip it naked, throw a sack over its head and string it up for everyone to see.  We are free, after all, as God intended: free to shop wherever we want, free to eat as much as we want, free to protect our families from all enemies, foreign and domestic.  These eternal words were written in Biblical Patriot Constitution of Rights, and it is our “Divine White” to ensure that God’s Will be done, to the letter.  Burn in hell you terrorist NI:GGERs!   The good guys are coming for you!

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